10/28: Vampyres

10/28: Tonight's horror flick was Vampyres, a film that was billed to me as the best lesbian vampire film ever made. That must be quite the honor, seeing as how there's enough to call "lesbian vampire film" a genre. So, yeah. Anyway, the movie is about, you guessed it, two lesbian vampires who become vampires after being shot and killed while having, ya know... relations. How does that turn you into a vampire? Eh, beats me. So they use their vampire lebian-ness to lure men to their home and suck their blood. 

Now, I'm fully aware this is an exploitation film and isn't supposed to be good, but hot damn is this movie boring. I mean, I guess I'm just as much of a fan of lesbian vampires as the next guy, but I'll be damned if they find a way to make it boring. Quite literally nothing happens in this movie, mostly there's just a dude who got lured there by the lesbian vampires but not been killed because... reasons? It's really not totally clear. I kept waiting for some sign of their vampireness to come out which you basically wait for until the last 20 minutes. Yeah, you made lesbian vampires boring; the hell Vampyres, the hell?

2.5/10