The Human Centipede 2
Ugh. First of all, let me start this off by saying I have no idea why after having seen the first one I decided to watch this one. But I guess it's one of those "I'm looking at a train wreck" type things. And after one movie about people being sewn to peoples asses, really, does the world need another? Or a coming third? Nope, I think one movie exploring the intricacies of this phenomenon is probably sufficient. Apparently Mr. Six didn't think so though, so here I am, reviewing this movie that really shouldn't exist. But then again, maybe that's horror; about 3/4s of the horror films out there have no discernible reason to exist.
But enough on that, to the movie itself. Firstly, no, Mr. Six, transferring your film into black and white does not automatically make it artistic. Sorry. It's a shoddy way of trying to somehow elevate your film which, honestly, with the subject matter you're dealing with, is that really necessary? That being said the film is not shot badly, and is actually passable as a decent looking film. I want to say the acting is atrocious, but I almost feel I can't say that seeing as how acting in this film consists of groaning and moaning; pretty hard to mess that up. And I actually have to hand it to Laurence R. Harvey; he actually plays a pretty creepy, loner, eyes bugging out killer in the main character Martin.
With all the praise I could possibly give this film out of the way, basically what "Human Centipede 2" consists of at it's core is Tom Six making a bunch of, albeit more gory, fart jokes. "Hur hur... look at the lady poop in the other girls mouth... hur hur look at fat man hit naked girl over head hur hur." It's childish; it's not witty, brilliant, or giving some sort of social commentary like some people seem to think. If you like a horror movie fart joke, than by all means, this is your movie. Don't get me wrong, I like ridiculous horror, and, honestly, fart jokes. But this takes it to a low even I can't stoop to.
In closing, I think this movie should be renamed to "Martin's Magical Crowbar." If you've seen the movie, you know what I mean.
2.5/10
I can't believe you even watched this. If you watch the third one I may have to stop speaking to you.
ReplyDeleteSean, you're completely missing the point of these films. Those aren't fart jokes, they are elaborate metaphors of how humans need to act towards each other in a closer, more symbiotic way. The reason their lips are sewn to strangers asses, resulting in them eating each others poop, is the directors way of saying that until we can become that close to a human being, the world will never find peace. The mad doctor is Jesus.
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