Tusk

Yesterday's movie:

10/11: For today's movie I watched Kevin Smith's Tusk. Kevin Smith, I love you you fat bearded bastard, but man... Tusk is not your finest hour. Maybe since we've moved on from the 90s/early-mid 2000s the world doesn't have a place for Kevin Smith movies. I mean, Clerks, Dogma, and even Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back are fucking great comedies that are a total product of their time and all the better for it. Since Zack and Miri Make a Porno though (and I do like that movie, but it stood as a huge change for Smith) the quality of his products seem to be steadily diminishing (except for Comic Book Men. I love that show). 

Tusk seems to follow that trend. Inspired by an ad that Smith found requesting a roommate that must dress up as a walrus (and voted into filmhood via Smith's podcast, Smodcast), Tusk is about Justin Long getting turned into a walrus. Yeah, that's pretty much all you need to know. Now don't get me wrong. I love over the top, crazy horror movies. In fact, those are some of my favorites (I'm looking at you, Tokyo Gore Police). But weirdly enough for a movie about a guy getting turned into a walrus Tusk doesn't go quite far enough in it's ridiculousness. Smith seems to be walking a tightrope between creating a serious horror movie and an over-the-top B-horror film and pretty much failing at both. Come on: it's a movie about a guy turning into a walrus. Go whole hog ridiculous, man.

On top of that, Tusk feels like it's exactly what it is: a kinda funny idea born out of a podcast and stretched into an hour and forty minute runtime that it can't support. Tusk would work vastly better as a short film, following the exploits of a podcaster-turned-walrus. Then I wouldn't have to sit through the only very rarely funny exploits of said walrus-man's girlfriend, Haley Joel Osment ("I see dead people" kid who's put on a couple pounds) and Johnny Depp dressed as a badly accented French Canadian detective. That whole subplot sounds funny on paper but isn't and feels like the epitome of screen-filler. 

Ultimately, funny idea and not enough for a movie. Smith, I'm sorry the world doesn't have as much of a place for you anymore. You were a product of the 90s and I think that's why I love you so much. Please, though... no more Tusks. 

I'll still watch all your movies though, which makes the typical internet asshole with entitled opinions. 

4.5/10