Truth or Dare

Today's horror film that I definitely did not bank from six months ago so I could post something while I'm out camping in Southern Utah this weekend (why would you even suggest that?) is Truth or Dare. Now, I know that this should come as a shock to all of you out there, but astonishingly a movie named after a children's game wasn't a high quality film. I know! I was just as surprised as you are! 

I'm not going to get into the plot of this thing because honestly does it matter/who the hell cares? All you need to know is there's a cursed game of Truth or Dare that spreads like a virus to anyone that plays, ala the video tape in The Ring. Yeah, it's a worn out premise, but it's not impossible to still get right; I mean, just look at It Follows. 

This movie is all kinds of dumb (again, shock and awe). The characters are stupid stereotypes and make even stupider decisions even by horror standards. The kills are straight out of Final Destination, uninspired and uninteresting. The scariest thing is honestly the weird Snapchat faces that the characters get when the Truth or Dare curse infects them for no discernible reason other than that the director is a big Snapchat fan, I guess? Or has stock in it or something? 

 Ew.

Really though, the biggest cardinal sin Truth or Dare commits is this: assuming that you, the viewer, are stupid. What do I mean by that? Well, how about this: explaining the whole damn movie in one scene by having a conveniently easy to find side character literally sit there and explain it to you. Both times I saw Truth or Dare, (no, I have no idea why I saw it twice other than that I'm a masochist I guess) I had to restrain myself from screaming at the screen in a vain attempt to somehow contact the screenwriter about how lazy of storytelling that is. Can't figure out how we dumb viewers can figure out your high falutin movie based around a game we all played when we were 11 and couldn't figure out anything better to do? Have a character sit our dense selves down and explain it to us in detail. How else would we figure it out, us lowly plebs.

Rant aside, there is one good part of this movie: the ending, which is so whackadoo and out of left field that I actually totally dig it. I will spoil it for you so now so you don't have to sit through this Snapchat-filtered mess. 

This Truth or Dare virus spreads by an infected person asking you Truth or Dare. It then goes in a cycle to the next person who plays. At the end of the film only the main character and her best friend are the only ones of their friend group left. Knowing that they can't escape the Truth or Dare demon (yeah, it's a demon, not kidding) without one or both of them dying, they decide to do the noble thing: post themselves saying Truth or Dare on YouTube so that it infects anyone who watches it, literally infecting the entire world. This way the virus has to get through a few million or maybe even billion people before coming back around to them.

Yes, you got that right: they agree to essentially kill the world so that the two of them can still be living, breathing best buds. Now if that isn't true friendship I don't know what is.

4/10 

(All points awarded essentially for that bonkers ending)