10/31: Halloween Triple Feature: Halloween (2018), Hocus Pocus, and Ouija: Origin of Evil

For my final films of this year's binge I went ham and did a triple feature. Yay for having the day off work! Here's this year's swan song:

10/31

To start my Halloween off right it felt only appropriate to go see the kinda reboot/sequel Halloween. I can say that I was pretty pumped for this movie; none of the Halloween sequels have come close to the original and this new Halloween was billed left and right as the true successor to the original. It is supposed to be everything that all the other sequels weren't. Plus I really needed something to cleanse my palate after that drek that Rob Zombie called sequels, so expectations were high. Well, I'm pleased to say that the new Halloween certainly beats Zombie, but the bar for that is pretty low. As for being the successor to the original? Ehhhhh... it's trying?

The plot for this Halloween is pretty much the plot for any other Halloween, at least those that include Michael Myers: Michael is being transferred from prison, Michael escapes, chaos ensues as he hunts down his old victims. Not exactly unexplored territory. The cool aspect that this Halloween has going for it though is the whole 40 years aspect (which, side note, how crazy is it that Halloween came out 40 years ago?). Laurie Strode, played once again by Jamie Lee Curtis, has had 40 years to prepare for Michael's inevitable return, becoming a recluse at a remote country home-turned fortress in the process. She has tried to train her daughter and granddaughter to be ready, but they think she's just some paranoid kook. Well, Michael will show you!

See? Told you.

Now, look: the new Halloween is decent slasher fare. There's no real big surprises (other than a really stupid twist that exists for about five minutes of screen time and is never fully realized) and it's nothing we haven't seen in a slasher before... well, almost. But I'll get to that. If this was just some slasher I'd see it and go, "Huh, well that was cool," and go about my day. This isn't any slasher though; this is Halloween, the OG slasher to end all slashers, and giving me a reheated slasher story isn't going to work in 2018. We've seen it all, so if you're going to bill this thing as the best thing since Michael Myer's first sliced people (did that joke work? I'm not sure...) it better damn deliver. Sadly, Halloween doesn't, and has all the dumb pitfalls of your average slasher with people doing inane things to avoid the killer. I get it, that's what slashers are all about, but not this movie that is supposed to be the Halloween to end Halloweens.   

Speaking of dumb people doing dumb things, let's talk about Laurie Strode for a second: the idea that she had 40 years to prepare for Michael's return and turned into a crazy fortress-building whacko is so damn cool. There's so much potential for a different type of slasher there. Here's the thing, though: if your whole movie hinges on the idea that Laurie has had 40 years to get a ready, she better actually be ready. She isn't. Seriously, she does some of the most insanely dumb stuff in her pursuit and subsequent fight with Michael that I seriously couldn't handle it. I was fighting the urge to shout in the theater, "You have guns stashed LITERALLY all over the house. Why are you using some crazy fire set up in the house to burn him alive? Just shoot him in the damn head!" or "You have bars that go down over every doorway in the house. Why have you closed EVERY SINGLE ONE and walk blindly into the one that's left, where Michael surely is amongst all the creepy dummies, instead of just shutting the bars and trapping him? That was literally your plan this entire time for the basement, so just do it in a room!" or, my favorite, "You have bars on every window and door in the house but not the upstairs?!?!?! Killer fortress designer, you are." GAH!

Sorry, rant over. Look, I know those are all the stupid actions we expect from a slasher, but this film was supposed to be different. Don't sell something to me as filet mignon cooked by Danny McBride, John Carpenter, and David Gordon Green and serve me up some hamburger steak cooked up by whoever is directing the next Purge movie. Ultimately, what really sank this movie for me was all the hype. I wanted what this movie could easily have been, a story about Laurie actually besting Michael Myers, being better than him after all this time. I would have loved to see that: Michael realizing he's met his match. As it is he's only defeated by dumb luck, leaving something that could have been a great twist on the final female trope and slashers in general as a lukewarm and over sold Halloween sequel. 

7/10

My second film of my Halloween triple feature was the film that my wife makes me watch EVERY. DAMN. YEAR: Hocus freaking Pocus. I've already reviewed this thing like 3 times, so I'll just send you over there to see my reviews: here, here, and the actual full review, here. 

Look, the movie is cute and dumb and an hour and a half virgin joke and gets more irritating each time I watch it. I'll see you again next year, when I inevitably have to watch it again.

6.5 sighs/10

My final film for this triple feature and my final film of the month was another Mike Flanagan work (man, I'm really making my rounds through his films this year): Ouija: Origin of Evil. This is the sequel to the original Ouija, which I think I've seen but honestly if I did it was so forgettable that I'm not really sure. Oops. I'm happy to say that, if I did see the original, this sequel is a vastly better film.

Ouija: Origin of Evil finally let me put a finger on what I like so much about Mike Flanagan: he's a commercial horror writer/director who actually makes good commercial horror films. I think there's a place for that; I don't always want a deep thinking horror film like The Endless or It Follows. Sometimes I just want a solid jumpscare; a demonic ouija board, someone sewing their mouth shut, or a creepy little girl unhinging her jaw.

I'm a man of simple tastes.

Flanagan does all that with gusto and aplomb, breathing new life into the often tired and worn out jump scare genre. Sometimes you just need a good, simple scare though, and Ouija: Origin of Evil provides.

It's been interesting seeing Flanagan mature as a director with all of his films I've watched this year. Where a movie like Before I Wake sees him still looking for his voice and The Haunting of Hill House or even Gerald's Game seeing him at full genius levels, it's interesting to see him at the height of his game doing more "typical" horror with such skill. 

Yeah, so, lesson learned here: don't mess with Ouija boards. You might end up unhinged your jaw, being possessed by demon spirits, and trying to kill your whole family. No fun for anyone, in other words. When I got married, my wife had one rule for me: I wasn't ever allowed to use an ouija board. That proves that she knows me really well and Ouija: Origin of Evil has gotta be the best cautionary tale for me out there.

9/10

Well, that'll do it for us for this year. I should (hopefully) be back for a wrap up post here in a couple weeks. In the meantime, I'm gonna go watch some stuff that, ya know, isn't horror. See ya on the flippity flip.